


Cravings

by Missy



Category: Laverne & Shirley (TV)
Genre: Childbirth, Established Relationship, Gen, Parenthood, Romance, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:14:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28281495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: It's time for Laverne to deliver her third child.  She's not nervous.  Lenny, however, is a total wreck.(Part of Marriageverse)!
Relationships: Laverne DeFazio/Lenny Kosnowski
Comments: 4
Kudos: 3
Collections: L&S Marriageverse





	Cravings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Futsin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Futsin/gifts).



Laverne was calm. Inordinately, creepily calm. That was enough to disturb Lenny, but then again he wasn’t the person about to shove a whole human being out of his body, so he didn’t think he had any right to complain about how she held herself, occasionally hunching over and holding her back.

He was standing there in his green and white baseball teeshirt and jeans, no socks, no shoes, running from the bedroom to the kitchen, where Shirley had the kids preoccupied with crayons and coloring books. Laverne was by the door, breathing calmly, one hand flexing and unflexing against the door frame.

She had her coat and shoes on, because she was infuriatingly calm in situations like these and a seemingly limitless ability to absorb pain. With Andy she’d been fearful, with Barb copacetic. The third time around and with her contractions about twenty minutes apart, she seemed to be prepared for what lay ahead of them.

Lenny would never be calm or prepared. He understood that terrible things could happen if one little mistake occurred at the wrong time; a bus two minutes too fast, a mother pushed too far. A clumsy best friend, or a mean word blurted out of the blue.

“Len, put your shoes on,” Laverne hissed, and he shoved his feet into a pair of sneakers without bothering to put socks on. 

“All right!” Shirley said, her smile wide and panicked. “Andy, Barb, we’re gonna color here for a few hours while your mom and dad go to the hospital.”

Barb flew from the chair and grabbed Lenny around the thighs. “No sick!” Barb said, headbutting Lenny’s knee.

“No, baby, it’s not me,” he said, and bent to pick her up. “Neither of us are sick. Do you remember putting your hand on mama’s tummy and feeling it move?” A nod, as she hid her face in his leg. “That’s your little brother or sister, and he or she’s about to come squirting out into the world like someone pulled a string on a cannon…”

“Len, please don’t put it like that,” Laverne begged. She breathed out, then smiled weakly, “in a few days you’re gonna meet your brother or sister, but I gotta get him or her out first.” His wife seemed pleased with her own quick-tongued succinctness. 

“Can you make sure it’s a boy?” Andy asked, without looking up from his Hardy Boys book. “I don’t wanna be outnumbered.”

“NO baby!” Barb said firmly. “MY momma!” she insisted, and reached out for Laverne, whose features twisted as a contraction racked her.

“I’ll…still be your mamma, too, Barbie. That don’t…Stop…Because…there’s…Ugh, Len…”

“She’s your mama forever,” Lenny said quickly, then tossed Barb back into Shirley’s grip while his daughter shouted her outrage. “I’ll call when we get there. Be sure you tell Squig and her father!”

“I will! Good luck, Vernie!” Shirley had been there the first time – had actually been in the room when Laverne had labored with Barb, holding her hand, competing fondly with Lenny for attention and helpfulness – but today, because she’d been watching the Beatles on Ed Sullivan with he’d been watching the TV and the kids, she would look after them. 

“I love you!” Laverne shouted at all three of them. And then Lenny gently led her out to the car. He shoved the suitcase in the back, made sure she was strapped in, and tried not to accidentally steer them into traffic. 

They were halfway to the hospital when Laverne said, “Hey Len, can we stop for a burger?”

His foot slipped off the gas pedal. “What?!”

She rolled her eyes. “Burger! I’m starved!”

He gawked at her. “Laverne, you’re in labor!”

She stuck out her chin. “So? Ain’t you ever been really hungry after doing a lot of work?”

“Yeah, but I ain’t never…”

“EXACTLY!” she said, pointing a finger in his face. “You ain’t never pushed a kid out of you…don’t give me that look!”

“I’m sorry, I ain’t smirking,” he said.

“I need fuel to get this kid out of me. So do a girl a favor and pull off the road and gimmie a burger!” Laverne said.

He found a Burger Chef by the highway and got her a burger and fries and onion rings. She devoured them in the waiting room and eventually had them up again when she went into heavy labor. It was seven in the morning when their kid finally came screaming into the world.

“Same cookie dough, different batch,” Laverne mused out loud, holding their tiny daughter up so Lenny could get a better look at her, echoing Lenny’s previous statement about their little brood. She was tiny and darker-haired, trending redder and more prominently-nose like a DeFazio – with a big hint of Uncle Fungi in her little face. “Think we’ll have to get it fixed?” she asked, tracing the line of her nose. The baby howled and batted at Laverne’s hand. “Geeze, I was just joking,” she replied.

The baby kept yelling and punching the air, until Laverne shoved her breast into her mouth. Already, the kid had a personality - a lusty howler who didn’t like lying still to be swaddled. Lenny as always was stunned into silence by what his wife had gone through. She was a miracle woman. He couldn’t sing her praises loudly enough.

“Wilhelmina,” Laverne said suddenly. “If we name her right after Shirl, she’ll say we’re gonna confuse the kids, and really, there’s only one Shirl in the world. So her name’s Wilhelmina. Billie for short.” That worked. She’d wanted to call their next kid ‘Billy’ if it was a boy, and Lenny liked the name applied to any sex, so he agreed readily enough.

“Okay,” Lenny said with a relieved sigh. “We’ll think up a middle name later.” He kissed Laverne’s sweaty forehead and counted his blessings. “But Billie’s a good place to start. I’m gonna go call home. Got any more bright questions?”

Yeah,” Laverne grinned. “Got any more onion rings?”


End file.
